THE THEORY OF DARK SUCKERS
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as presented by Paul Holmgren
with additions and corrections by Holly Stowe
For years it was believed that light wes emitted from an electric
bulb; recent information has proven otherwise - dark is sucked into the
bulb - therefore, the bulb is a dark sucker.
There are many types and sizes of dark suckers. The largest
manufacturers of dark suckers are General Electric and Sylvania. Some
modern dark suckers utilize solid power to operate properly. Solid
power units can be purchased from Eveready, Exide, and Duracell.
The dark sucker theory proves the existance of dark suckers as well
as proving that dark is heaver than light. Some examples are as
follows:
Electric bulbs: There is less dark near the electric bulb than at a
distance of 100 feet when it is operating; therefore, it is sucking dark
and can be classified as a dark sucker. The larger the dark sucker, the
greater the distance it can suck dark. The larger the dark sucker the
greater its capacity of dark. The dark sucking capabilities are evident
when the dark sucker has reached its capacity and will no longer suck
dark. At that point you may notice the dark area on the inside portion
of the dark sucker. The larger the dark sucker, the larger the area of
dark found within. This type of dark sucker can be made directional by
placing a shield around a portion of the unit or behind it. This will
prevent dark from entering the dark sucker from that side thereby
extending the range of the dark sucker on the unprotected/unshielded
side.
Candles - primitive dark suckers: There is more dark 30 feet from a lit
candle then there is at a distance of 3 feet. Proof of it's dark
sucking capabilities is relatively simple. Examine a new unused candle,
notice that the center core is not dark. Ignite the center core. Allow
the center core to burn for about 5 minutes. Notice the lack of dark
around the candle. Extinguish the candle flame. Notice that the center
core of the candle is now dark. The center core is a dark sucker
protected by a soft insulator to extend it's life expectancy and
maintain rigidity to verify that this primitive dark sucker is operating
properly. Ignite the center core and allow it to burn for a minimum of
2 minutes. Pass a clean pencil over the top of the flame, left to right,
approximately 3 inches above the center core. Notice that there is no
dark on the pencil. Pass the pencil over the center core now about 1/2
inch. Notice that the pencil now has a dark area. The pencil blocked
the path of the dark being sucked to the core of the dark sucker. This
type dark sucker is very primitive and does not suck dark any great
distance nor does it have a large capacity.
Dark sucker solid power units may be purchased locally at a variety
of outlets. Size does not determine the life expectancy of the dark
sucker solid power unit. These solid power units wring dark hours. Two
(possibly four) large dark suckers are located on the front. On the
rear there are two (or 3) smaller dark suckers with red filters. You
may also notice several dark suckers with yellow filters. These filters
are required to remove a percentage of red and yellow from total dark so
as to energize the solid power unit. The solid power unit permits the
auto to be utilized during hours of no dark by the dark it has absorbed.
The number of dark suckers varies with the age of the automobile. Newer
automobile solid power units require a greater percentage of red
filtered dark. Older units generally require more non-filtered dark.
The solid power unit of the automobile has a dark interior. This can be
proved by cutting the solid power unit in half.
Dark is heavier than light. Dark always settles to the bottom of a lake
and/or river. Submerge just below the surface of a lake and you will
notice an absence of dark. Lower yourself to 15 feet below the surface
and you will notice a degree of darkness even on a sunny, bright day.
Lower yourself to 50 feet (or more) below the surface and you are in
total dark. Ergo, the dark has settled to the bottom; therefore, dark
is heavier than light. Modern technology has allowed us to utilize the
dark that has settled to the bottom of large rivers through the creation
of turbines which push the dark downriver to the ocean, which has a
larger holding capacity for dark and is a common safe storage location.
As the dark is passed through the turbine, a percentage of solid power
is removed and transmitted to various short term storage plants for many
usages. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to move the dark
from rivers to storage areas such as deep lakes or the ocean. The
Indians would paddle their canoes very little and not very deeply if
they were going in the direction of flow of dark so as not to slow it
down. However, if they were traveling opposite the natural flow of
dark, they would dig their paddles very deep and rapidly to assist the
flow of dark to its ocean storage place.
Dark is faster than light. If you would open a drawer very slowly, you
will notice that the light goes into the drawer. (You can see this
happen.) You cannot see the dark leave the drawer. Continue to open
the drawer and light will continue to enter the drawer; however, you
will not see any dark leave the drawer. Therefore, dark is faster than
light. Go into a closet, close the door, and turn off the dark sucker.
Have a friend open the door about 1 inch. Your friend will not see any
dark leave the closet, nor will you. Have your friend open the door
until half the closet is dark and half is light. Since 2 objects cannot
occupy the same space at the same time, and you do not feel any change
in pressure, by compressing the dark, it is logical to assume that dark
is faster than light.
One last proof.
What is a by-product of movement of dark? Heat. What is a by-
product of dark suckers? Heat, again.
Therefore a dark sucker generates heat during its operation, sucking
dark from the surrounding area.